The Cops of Detroit --------------------- "From France, ey?" the Toothpick smiled "Non! I'm Italian," the Frenchman replied "Yeah, shore, uh-huh" "Got the Caviar?" "Oui bien sur, Of course!" "Here you are!" ****** The Italian (a frenchman) was a camouflaged spy Sent by the Don to find out why The streets were so easy all at once None of 'em needed no reminders with guns Coke-heads weren't (suddenly!) broke so flat The Don didn't, y'know, really capish that No pleas, no barters of no dead rats No scuffs, no spats, no voler en eclats Cokeheads had dough, were well behaved No jitters, some healthy and even shaved! ****** The Italian said in Italian, "ce bien?" (se byon..) The Toothpick, thoughtful, said "uh-huh!" ****** Through the heady Cartucho, from the end of the bar A dealer watched quietly, the Italian and the Jar He was reading the Wall Street, partially turned back No gel in his hair, and his car wasn't black He had four years of college, perhaps even more If he was a drug dealer, then I am Eyore He was "freshly defected", from the southside cartel And with six friends of his, offered serious intel The Don blessed that, and they were allowed To deal on the streets of the north side of the south All seemed well (tra la la), except for one thing Our southside defectors were from Chicago's sixth wing Not the wheelers and dealers of Chicago's own slime (Nah!) From the Bureau of Detectives And of Organized Crime ****** The Italian tried the Italian "wring" The Toothpick watched the Italian sing Finally, no headway, he directly approached "The cops are in, wires, bingers," he directly broached "Uh-huh, where'd you hear that?" "Got my sources" "Uh-huh?" Toothpick eyed a blonde "Where'd you get that? Le Monde?" ****** The blonde was a six-foot-two dancer in the bar Four months in the joint, already a star Her act was a striptease, but only post-form The "post" was offered only to a uniform Her price was skyhigh, plus some Krypton Wallstreet called out "Ten thousand and one!" Wide eyed, clearly mad, she nodded an "accept" Took him out back to discuss this aspect Floored him in a second, stiltto on throat Reached for handcuffs, found panties, the guy (chokingly) agloat Kicked him Tae-kwondo style, whack-on-back "You nearly busted me!" "Get lost and don't come back!" ****** The Italian squirmed in a tricky interrogation Had gotten wrung at some point in their conversation The Toothpick, a seasoned cop, was ultra-bright Toughest one in the Tough Narcotic unit of Detroit The Italian now looked like a seriously hooked trout Made a sign to the bartender, that he needed out ****** In about maybe, thirty, or forty minutes tops Entered through the door, Detroit's Finest cops Finely attired, designer shirts with diamond links Mirror-polished shoes and a lot of other things Hair slicked back and fine perfumes too Manicured nails, gold chains, one or two Now, the blonde (a brunette) was a decorated uniform Clicked a button somewhere, videotaped this storm She was on to these dressed-up-drug-dealer cops Although dressed down, she was top of the tops ****** The Pick muttered a sigh "Oh please!" The Italian heaved a sigh "Bien! release!" They yanked the Italian to his shoes Who then left with Detroit's Finest Blues ****** Officer, Striptease, Cokehead, Dealer, Don Had to pull their act, 'twas clear to everyone Compost, Horizon, G-mobile, Beaglevoice Fielded many cross-connected calls that night The Toothpick called up his force of twenty three The Wallstreet called his force from (Detroit's) BOC The Italian called his Italian cohorts The Don then called the designer cops The bartender, informer to the Don and police Pre-reported a pre-bashing of his respectable premise The blonde called all five strippers on her force Then the six of them called the Chief, of course Every call (tapped) ended in a plan Then every caller switched, called other fake ones (tapped) Through all this, through the night, in a town far away There was serious confusion at this place called NSA ****** D-day was next day at "Pete's Cherie Tartes" Chosen in a common thread that linked those calls At ten AM the next day all arrived at Tarte's Many cars drove into the Tarte's backyard It wasnt just our folks, A B C and D At Tarte's today, was an impromptu ceremony Here Jake and Jill had started their lovely romance Jake had hired a (twenty-strong) Mariachi band ****** Well here we go It happened fast Toothpick's side (A) was playing pool Sharp at ten Wallpaper's team (B) arived Coke in pockets and hook on spool A approached B to buy some coke B proceeded then to supply the blokes As A paid B, and B handed stuff They whipped out a count of twenty seven handcuffs Twenty seven stern recitals from both sides Apprising each other of Miranda rights The Mariachi band then, to Jake's dismay Mistook this as a cue, and began to play ****** Detroit's finest had planned that day To mow Toothpick's team, and get away They came with a slam, but were blown away By forty seven different tunes at b(r)ay The crowd came in and broke into applause While Jake yelled at the Mariachi band to stop Detroit's finest then quickly reconvened To recalculte, at the far end of the scene One of the Finest eyed the blonde, and then he Boldly gave her a pinch, but she was ready Six fine detectives arrested the Fine cops As the Fine copped a feel, the 'feel' copped the cop They arrested the lot with the Miranda song The Mariachi (again) began to sing along The Fines were hauled to police vans by the sidewalk Fakes ones with flakes who were high on chalk From a distance, the real cops turned their sirens on The flakes saw the panties, turned their sirens on ****** The Maricahi defected to the nearest point Except this was the same as yesterday's (respectable) joint For which a pre-complaint had been made yesterday The proprietor had expected such nuts today A brawl ensued between his Goons and Mariachi The real cops, waiting, then got hauly-touchy ****** The press caught the Wallstreet and the burly Toothpick In a brawl for busting each other's trick The Flakes thought the pantied cops weren't real ones The real cops quietly showed them real guns The Tarte's batender called in an attack The press just assumed 'twas a terrorist attack The crowd went ballistic and cameras clicked Ambulences and sirens and car horns shrieked When they finally dispersed, street emptied of cars The Tart's proprietor thanked his stars ****** The Don sent the Italian to the police For intel on who he could kill for this With a kilo of coke, a "Good Samaritan" came in With an incredible story that was somewhat thin The Toothpick's unit was called into town (they were on vacation) But when they saw each other, conversation broke down "Ok", said the Toothpick "Who gave you this?" "No one gave me this, Officer" "Oh please" "I never saw this much before in my life" "uh-huh" "Y'know, I'm not in the mood for lies" "Que c'est laid!" "God as my witness" "May he strike me dead twice" "I was minding my own business when" "This, erm, just, erm, fell out of a tree" "Uh-huh," said the Toothpick "And you're Italian" "Shore" "I see" "Uh-huh" ""Oui, believe me!" -------------------- 4 Apr 2018 7:38 AM A detailed version of this final interrogation is in "The silence of interrogation"