Legally spellbound ---------------------------- Tethered me finally, I was flailing around Lady you hold me legally spellbound I bring up a problem, hard to solve A heartrending issue, that I want to resolve Gently because its so close to my heart With my friend, who I could't bear see depart You belch out a legal solution in a pop Resounding advice, "Just ask him to stop" "Cut him off, that's it," "Friends are like worms" "They'll infest your career on illegal terms!" It worked! My friend, with a tear in his eye Didn't say a word, bid a silent goodbye Such magic! just one word corrected the mess Silenced my long standing friend with finesse "My father and mother, they call me each day" "That's easy! You're an adult, its legal to say" "Just stop! Or I'll sue you. Slam you in bars" "Just say it, that's all!" Amazing! Five stars! "I fought with my wife," "this morning", I say You lawyer me up, "Divorce her away!" You have the solution to every situation That's simple or complex, command admiration I needed some space to bring in my friends "Sure, just hire them! These are rules you can bend" "That's not what I'm saying, they're already here" "Ok," you tell me, "the best place to clear" You point to this man, revered by his peers Who's been there for long, at least twenty years "Just ask him to pack it!", "Give it no thought!" "Its legally correct." "But he'll be distraught!" "Legally, that's not your calling to care!" "Just step over him, and he couldn't dare" "The legal solution to every inordination" "Is to fire those fools, for insubordination" It makes my life simple, your legal prowess I can walk over all those who dare to digress From my regulations, directives and rules You help me control this gaggle of fools Who only have, one-eighty points of IQ Merely a hundred points more than you do They're peasants at best, they do math and suchlike "Its legal, just tell them to go take a hike!" "Your word is command! Remember!" You say "Your decrees, stipulations, requirements, they may" "Not legally deny", with legal conviction, "Those fools", you say, "Or they face eviction" "Just fire him, or her, as the case may be" "You're within your rights, by the books, legally" You help me replace all those men and their roles Get rid of those efficient, troublesome souls "You can legally do this to balance the genders" "That's legally perfect, no need for defenders" "My kid didn't do well this time in his class" "Just tell your wife, such things will not pass" "She cannot claim legally, duress, abuse" "The law lays it down, from her head to her shoes" "She's responsible, tell her, so she better do" "What you lay down for her, as spouse to you" I'm on my knees, Lady, can I legally sneeze Is it legal to go to the bathroom please? Legally, finally, my conscience is clear Freed of all goodness, decency, fear of social retribution, I'm morally free I'm legally blinded, I can no longer see Your dubious degrees from high-class hotels Career path strung through no-tell motels My legal Cinderella, my glamorous one You've made my job intensely proper and fun My legal heroine, you hold me to ground In awe of your wisdom, legally spellbound ---------------------------- 18 Feb 2018 -- Rita Singh LTI, SCS, and ECE (by courtesy), Carnegie Mellon University 5000 Forbes Avenue, Pittsburgh, PA 15213 http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~rsingh